So far, 2016 has just given me a swift kick in the ass. It is amazing to me that people are still reading this blog, after two full years. It is even more extraordinary that people are buying my book and are totally stoked about my second book releasing next month. And I wish I had more positive vibes to through into the universe, but my positivity is coming in waves. Some days are better than others. A perfect example would be how miserable I felt yesterday and how happy I feel today. But, this is already showing me how far I am coming along. Two weeks ago, everyday was a bad day. Every bit of progress is still progress.
This whole “swift kick in the ass” that I am referring to is that I am really starting to realize that I give so much for people who just take. I throw myself all into everything I do: whether that be friendships, relationships, school, and even work. But looking at my life as a whole I am noticing that I do everything I possibly can for everyone else. And it is becoming really hard when I am doing everything I can, and it seems like it is never enough. But, with that being said I am learning to listen to my gut. As grateful as I am for the many, many friendships, jobs, relationships, etc. that I have been so lucky to have in my life- I should have learned to listen to my intuition.
Through some self- discovery I’ve had lately, I am learning that I have put up with this crap for so long because these are examples of things I have been putting up with, my whole life. The feeling of always striving to be better. The need to always reach a point of perfection. The thought of never being 100% good enough – it comes from the words I have heard throughout my life. I just have absorbed those words over time and they have become me. And that is not at all who I am or who I strive to be. I have been realizing day by day to be grateful for the experiences that I have had and that it is okay to cut ties with anything or anyone who doesn’t bring me happiness.
As much as I have been struggling, heartbroken, and have been feeling hurt – this is not the first time I have felt this way and this won’t be the last. This post is about so much more than the end of a relationship. This post is about the end of dealing with other people’s crap. I am so tired of carrying the weight of everyone else on my shoulders, and this is me publicly announcing that I will not do it anymore. I don’t think anyone means to walk on me or let me pick up the slack without any recognition. I just think that they don’t have the right intentions. Whether I am talking about coworkers or family or friends- whatever the case may be, I deserve to be recognized for everything I do. Though all of this heartache, I feel the passion inside of me to spread the empowerment we all have within us. It’s okay to be flawed. It’s okay to cry and be human.
So remember that there is a time to be selfish and that time for me, is today.
xoxo Kelly Anne