I have remembered my passions.
I feel absolutely amazing. I have found what my heart really beats for. Rather- I have remembered where my heart is at home. For a while, I didn’t care if it was right or wrong, I forced myself to love somewhat of a figment of my imagination. I had changed so much that I convinced myself and my heart of what I wanted. My life is no longer just a boring weekly routine. I have found my heart a home, now that it is not settling down.
I have found my voice.
I have found my real friends.
I have always been surrounded by so many people. But, due to this ‘tragedy’ I have found the ons who appreciate me. The ones who reach out a hand, the ones who text me just to check up to make sure I am okay, and the ones who spent nights in rather than going out and having ‘fun’. I have found the people I had thought I lost.
I have rediscovered my path.
Remember my journey? I found it again. I have found a map that reflects who I am and where I am going. I have find something that guides me to where I need to go. My road may not always be straight and paved, but the curves, the bumps, and the sharp turns are all inspire me. I have found who I am supposed to be, not just who I wanted to be.
I have remembered who I am.
I figured out what I do and don’t want. I have written pros and cons down on so many sheets of paper, I thought my room was going to turn into a recycling bin. I realized that I love being mesmerized. I stopped settling for okay – when my whole life I have strived for perfection. I realized that I love things about me and you don’t have to. I realized that I carried so much of your pain that it starting to tear away at my happiness. I have turned on my light, now that I don’t have your darkness.
I have now confirmed that I always jump two feet in. But now, I am happy, happier than I think I have ever been. I just woke up one day and decided that I wasn’t going to be sad. I decided to be happy.
I have learned what it is like to love someone for everything they are: for their strengths and weaknesses. I have learned that I am deserving of so much more. I now understand fully to never settle for anything less than what I deserve. I have become a happier version of myself. Today, I am prospering. Tomorrow I might be sad. But I have had so much progress in these past few weeks. Progress in self-love, growth, and happiness. These days I am being selfish. And I love it. This week I laughed so hard that I cried. My tears were out of pure joy and no longer pain. If that is not progress… I don’t know what is.
So remember, sometimes the problem is not the intensity of your love, but the quality of the people you are loving.