“She Woke Up Every Morning With The Option of Being Anyone She Wished. . . How Beautiful It Was That She Always Chose Herself.” -Tyler Kent White
Like most young women, I have been working on something for the past 21 years of my life, and that is coming to terms with loving myself.
And no I do not mean, loving myself in some sort of ‘I love exactly who I am and never criticize one thing about myself ever because I am just perfect in every way’. That is completely unrealistic. I mean, we’re all human! Nitpicking is basically programmed into our brains. Ugh, that stupid strand of hair that never falls in the right direction, our messy apartments and messy past relationships, that chipped tooth, or that stupid dimple in your thigh…. the list of different things could go on forever. I have learned to love my nitpicking, because if you can’t stop the habit, learn to embrace something good about it. And even though I can’t go to nitpickers anonymous I can come to terms with the pesky stuff that gives me perspective.
Throughout the past 21 years of life I have built a character who stands on concrete rather than on a water bed. I have created a personality that allows people to be themselves. A space that allows people to stretch to be as big as they want or as bizarre as they might want to be. I want people to know that I am someone that they can join in on wine and good conversation, and that I will keep their secrets. I always want to know the truest versions of people, not the version they think that they need to be.
I am constantly trying to be somebody that I am proud to be. Somebody that my 10 year old self would look up to. Someone my parents are proud of. Somebody that my brother smiles at.
I have been bullied, I have been hurt in relationships, and I have lost friendships. But I no longer carry any of those on my shoulders because life goes on. Whether we want it to or not… So if you see something beautiful in someone else, tell them. If you feel uncomfortable in that outfit, change your clothes. If someone wants to walk out of your life, hold the door open for them. Don’t chase after them. You are here. You are so very important. Do not run after people trying to prove that you matter. But always keep a light on, so if somebody leaves home and needs somewhere to find stable ground… be that shining light they can come back to.Be loyal, yet firm. Be loving yet careful. But most importantly, just be predictable in your own unpredictability.
So, today I want you to understand that at the end of the day, the most important thing is sitting comfortably in your own skin.